i will hope in Him.

Though he slay me, I will hope in him. - Job 13:15

It is in the deepest moments of tragedy that we come to know our savior the deepest. It is in the suffering and affliction that God allows us to experience the great love of Jesus, and the greatest love that He has for our children. We cry out to God to remove the trial, or change the circumstance, but we learn to trust in Him, and trust that He is powerful enough to remove the trial. Whether or not He decides to change our circumstance, His love is deep enough to carry us through.

In this dark tragedy, my emotions are everywhere. I am overly consumed with the "What if's." "What if the worst happens" and the my emotions sway with the up's and downs. I am learning that although my emotions aren't entirely wrong, they are not reliable. God is. I think the reason that we have a hard time trusting God in the midst of trials is because we can't see Him, and we are so focused on what our eyes can see instead of the unseen works of Christ. These thoughts unsettle me, and destroy my peace, if this is a trial to test my faith, am I able to say with Job, "Though you slay me, I will trust you?"

Is God Enough? Will God still be sufficient?

I want to worship and trust Him because He is worthy, not because he can do something for me. God doesn't promise a trouble-free life, but He does promise to be there in the midst of our sorrows. His grace is always sufficient, He is always enough for whatever we face. How has He proven his faithfulness in the past? Our faith to persevere is in God past victories.

Daniel 3:17-18

"If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendnego were not guaranteed deliverance, but they were able to speak these courageous words. They were satisfied that "even if" the worst happens, that God will take care of them. When we replace our "What if's" by "Even if" we are trusting that His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9), we are trusting that He will strengthen and uphold me (Isaiah 41:10), we are trusting that He will carry us through (Isaiah 46:4), we are trusting that He will still be good (Romans 8:28), we are trusting that He will never leave or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6). We are trusting in what we cannot see (2 Corinthians 4:18).

Even if the fig tree does not bloom and the vines have no grapes, even if the olive tree fails to produce and the fields yield no food, even if the sheep pen is empty and the stalls have no cattle—

Even then,

I will be happy with the Lord. I will truly find joy in God, who saves me. (Habakkuk 3:17–18)